Lacking Something

This was what I wrote in the beginning of February.

I feel like I'm always lacking something. I feel as if I have no direction of what I want to do. Like I know what I want to do but I never have the right words to say. My blog has a bunch of saved writing pieces that I've written every two weeks and I did not post any of them because I feel as if they don't fully say what I want to say.

A bit about what is going on now: The stress of senior year is finally leaving because I have like five months of school left. Sooner or later, I'll be going to one of the six schools I got accepted to.

Even what I'm writing now feels empty. I'm posting this to let you guys know that I'm still here.
I'm still trying my hardest to make this blog possible.

I'm lacking my creativity for this blog, but I am trying my hardest to come up with something good.

Thank you guys for still reading.

Goodbye 2015, Hello 2016!

December 31st, 2015

Before 2015 ends, I'd like to take this moment to say how crazy this year has been for me. This year was probably one of the best and coolest ever. I managed to go on my first school trip out of the state, I managed to get my first ever real job, I managed to go to Dominican Republic, I managed to get one college acceptance letter, and I even managed to get a boyfriend whom I've never been more happier to be with. 2015 has brought me nothing but luck. This year has been the year of finding out who I want to be, and although I still don't know what I want to be, I at least have a clue. In 2015, I have finally been able to set up a blog in which I am happy about. This blog shows a success story, it's not the most successful due to my lack of posts, but it shows change. Before 2015 ends, I want to thank my family, and friends (boyfriend, close friends, blog viewers, coworkers, bosses, etc) for being a part of 2015. I feel like there is so much more for me to write about but this year has been super crazy and fun for me to talk about it all.

Tonight I am going to be celebrating with my family and enjoying the last minutes of 2015 with them. When it's 12am I will probably finish writing for this post, and afterwards my neighbor and I are going to be doing our yearly tradition of egg throwing. I'm not 100% sure on the New Year's kiss though since my boyfriend's parents are strict and won't let him outside. I was imagining him running to meet me halfway for a kiss but I'm not so sure it'll happen lol.

I can't wait to see what 2016 has in store and I hope it will only be better than 2015 has been to me.
My New Years Resolutions for 2016 would be the following:

1. Become fit! (something I've told myself since 2012, but I have been trying so hard in 2015)
2. Graduate (self-explanatory since I'm a Senior)
3. Go to College (once again, I am a Senior, college is right around the corner)
4. Manage a bad-ass blog (THIS IS A MUST)
5. TAKE A PICTURE EVERYDAY. (365 Photo Project, going to talk about that in a week!)
6. Keep my relationships with my boyfriend, friends and family strong
7. Save money from paychecks (be more financially responsible)
8. Have a good year!!!

January 1st, 2016
It is currently 1:25 am and I am currently back on my computer writing this small portion because I want to wish you all a Happy New Years, I am deciding to post this today because I felt like posting this in 2016, for a good karma to my blog. My neighbor and I went outside to do our yearly tradition of throwing eggs to let go of all the bad that happened in the previous year. It was fun and I am trying to take a photo everyday, for a photography project. Anyways, I hope you guys are having an amazing New Years' Day celebration and I'll talk to you guys soon!

Gone for Two Months.

Hey guys! It's been a while, I know, I am so sorry. Life has just been too busy for me. But I am back and I've missed writing on this blog.

SO I know you guys probably have questions like: Where have you been? When and what will you be posting on this blog? Will you possibly take breaks like this one in the future?

I've been places. I've been at work taking photos and editing them while going to portfolio reviews. I've been with my boyfriend, hanging out and watching movies while he still isn't completely busy with sports. I've been trying to finish college applications so I can advance with my future and so I won't stress out about it next year. I've been around.

I haven't found out when I will be officially posting on this blog, maybe it might be on the weekends because that's when I find myself the least busy out of all the days of the weeks. As of what I will be posting is totally up to me. For the past weeks that I've been off of my blog, I've been thinking of ways to improve my blog. It's still a work in progress. But hopefully it'll come out to be really cool by the time 2016 begins.

Everyone takes breaks. This has not been the first time I've taken a break from a blog. This will probably not be my last time. The reason why I took this break was so I can get my life back together so I can come back and give you great blog quality. It's better to leave and come back with a bang then stay and not show your best work.

But for now, I am back and I can't wait to show you guys what is to come in the future. If you guys have any topic you'd like me to talk about in my next post, please let me know! I'd love to write about anything that you would like to know. Thanks and see you guys soon :)

Phases

Today while I was outside with a friend, we had a little conversation about many things but the one that stood out the most to me was our conversation about phases. It made us laugh a bit because his middle school phase was the same as mine, and it was during the same year. 7th grade. We didn't know each other at that time. Anyways, phases are really neat. To think about it, we can all compare ourselves to the moon: constantly changing and going through phases. It's incredible too, because when I think about what I wanted to be when I'm older back then, I think how big my expectations were growing up. Okay... that probably made no sense to you guys. What I mean to say is that the younger version of me had high expectations of what the me now should've been. Back in the day, I would always say "When I grow up I'm going to be a cheerleader and I'm going to be popular." If I could meet the younger version of me, I think she'd be very disappointed. But a part of younger me would be happy because we ended up being a great person. Back to the topic. We all go through phases. We get influenced to be someone else, we all try to discover who we are. Believe it or not, we never really know who we want to be until we grow older. I don't even think I know who I want to be as of right now. Life's all about discovering who you want to be. If it wasn't for phases, I don't think anyone would know what they would want to be. Honestly, I'd feel like we'd all be unhappy boring people. Phases help you through trial and error. You don't like being a certain way? Then go ahead and change it until you find what you want. The way that this happens intrigues me so much because we constantly change and "shed our skin" to become a new person. The phase I'm currently going through is the same one I've been doing since 2013. I think this phase is the one that has fully captured who I am. Who am I? You'll find out in my next post :)

xx, ambar.

Let's Talk.

Hey guys. It's me Ambar. I'm currently in that point of time when I have no clue on what to post. Writers block much? Yup. As of now, I'm drinking some hot chocolate from Dunkin Donuts and I have all my homework laid out next to me, probably homework that I don't even want to start yet.

I'm still stuck having PCD, and honestly it's real. I just wish it was October 2nd again, and I would've been heading to the venue right now.

I'm wearing my most bummiest clothes today; a black shirt, sweats (which I have to change out of later) and a burgundy purplish cardigan. I want to post an OOTW like every month, but I always wear like the same stuff every week.

On October 29th, I have homecoming! I'm not completely sure I want to go but if I do then I hope I have fun. I'm not much of a dancer but you gotta enjoy dances on senior year by what everyone says.

October 30th, WIPED OUT! is released and I'm so pumped, I'm currently trying to get my parents to order the bundle for me before it sells out because that means more The NBHD merch and I love merch.

Halloween is also coming up pretty soon and I think I have the best costume ever set out. I just have to go buy all the items, but I'm really excited. I'm probably celebrating Halloween with my friends and then at night with my brother and his friend because he's going to celebrate his birthday on Halloween.


Anyways, how is everyone's life? Is everything going good? Did you pass your test this week? If you did, I'm proud of you! Are you not looking forward to a stressful week? It's okay, we all go through the toughest times, you'll get through this week. Life flies by in a flash so don't get hung up on a stressful week.

I hope you guys just enjoyed this random blog post. I'm trying to get my life together... ALSO. I am thinking of schedules for my blog for the upcoming new year. Be prepared for a wild 2016... even though its still October 2015.